He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
