I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
