I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he thought i was a dude.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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