i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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