Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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