Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
