You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
