I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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