My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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