U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we're making bets on your personal life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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