Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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