I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
