we have officially lost it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
