i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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