Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
