I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
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But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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