You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
