she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just pee around me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
