I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he thought i was a dude.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
