bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
