Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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