when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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