We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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