i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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