More tranny stories later!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
