I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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