Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
