Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just blew my weed a kiss
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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