And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
