Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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