New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
