well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS