he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
