im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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