my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
