I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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