i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just high enough for therapy.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
