His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
