I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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