So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
