just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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