I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize