Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
