yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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