I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
