She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
a search helicopter?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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