i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
