do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
