I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
