I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
