Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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