The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize