what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize