ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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