some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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