I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
